I've Told You...

After last night, I've told you it all.
All of my emotions
All of my distress
Even with help from everyone else
I still can't completly let you go
You've caused me so much crap
So much stress
Your the reason
I can get so upset
So depressed.
I want to say I don't care what you say
About me
To me
Or for me even
But I can't
Not without lying
I can say
That I did love you
And that I truly never knew
What hate was before you
I used it way to often
Without even knowing
The true extent
That it can get.
You dumped me
Both of the times
And yet to this day
Or at least yesterday
I've gotten all of the crap
From everyone
From you
And even myself
I cant believe what has happened
I cant believe what I've done
I've become the oppposite
And I hate to admit it
Yea I have said I've changed
But I admit less then I should
It's because of you
That I'm scared.
I'm scared to be real
I'm scared to be in another "real"
Relationship.
I've had my fair share
Of bad boyfriends
But you,
You just ruined it.
I don't even say love.
Not more then a friend
It's because of you,
That when I look through old pictures
Of us from last year,
Or even summer,
I break down and cry.
It's because of you,
That I've become this
This...this shell
I hate it
And I hope you know
This all.
Cause from now on
I know the truth
Your fucking nothing.
And you diserve exactly that...