Photo II....not my best of subject this year. Then again, what is? Anywayz, we got a new project. An individual project. Mine? "Donna: Digital: Create a book following a week in the life of Donna." This should be interesting. My choice of book style? Star. My idea? 25 shots right? Well, 5 pages must be made for have a star. So 25/5 = 5. Four close friends, And on page to myself. Lets see....
And 1....2.....3.....GO!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
"Tell Me Where We Go From Here...."
Today is the first day back from the 4 day break and everything's going by so quickly....
-Fencing's finally over with other then the After Season Meeting & Dinner.
-HSPA is exactly a week from today.
I guess those would be the only MAJOR things going on right now..but...in my opinion, there's so much more...
People, in general, piss me the fuck off. Austin, Anthony, Em, Joe, Jimmy....just people. And talk is already starting up about the Junior Dance (I can't spell it so I just say dance). And People like Dan are wanting me to go. Whether I explain the fact I don't have many friends in my own grade or not. I really do not see a point in me going, or even thinking of going. I'd have no fun, and probably would end up almost as horrible as the Freshman year dance went for me..-sigh- =\
I'm trying to balance emotions with work and it's not exactly working out very well.I, at the same time, want and don't want a boyfriend. Or just, I don't even really know. Just....someone. If that makes any sense. I guess I've become so accustomed to the feeling & thought of having someone there, to fill that gap...I feel weird without it. And I try & try & try to fill it, just to get an oddly based sorta friendship which later on explodes in my own face...I don't know what I'm looking for....I guess..just...someone normal. Someone, who I can have an easy-going, simple, loving, TRUE relation with...I don't know...
And last off I guess for now, I know I have A LOT of stuff to figure out....and I will in time. I'll find out who I truly am. But I do have a strong feeling I'm not gonna like it...
-Fencing's finally over with other then the After Season Meeting & Dinner.
-HSPA is exactly a week from today.
I guess those would be the only MAJOR things going on right now..but...in my opinion, there's so much more...
People, in general, piss me the fuck off. Austin, Anthony, Em, Joe, Jimmy....just people. And talk is already starting up about the Junior Dance (I can't spell it so I just say dance). And People like Dan are wanting me to go. Whether I explain the fact I don't have many friends in my own grade or not. I really do not see a point in me going, or even thinking of going. I'd have no fun, and probably would end up almost as horrible as the Freshman year dance went for me..-sigh- =\
I'm trying to balance emotions with work and it's not exactly working out very well.I, at the same time, want and don't want a boyfriend. Or just, I don't even really know. Just....someone. If that makes any sense. I guess I've become so accustomed to the feeling & thought of having someone there, to fill that gap...I feel weird without it. And I try & try & try to fill it, just to get an oddly based sorta friendship which later on explodes in my own face...I don't know what I'm looking for....I guess..just...someone normal. Someone, who I can have an easy-going, simple, loving, TRUE relation with...I don't know...
And last off I guess for now, I know I have A LOT of stuff to figure out....and I will in time. I'll find out who I truly am. But I do have a strong feeling I'm not gonna like it...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Dananananananananananana BATMAN!
"I wonder if you’ll notice, if they lock me up and throw away the key
Gotta be open minded, you’ve got a lot to learn in the ways of me
You’ve always got to say something,
I’m none of your concern but you won't listen at all
You know I’d rather say nothing, and just be proud of myself
I’m tearing down these walls."
-Better Off This Way : A Day To Remember
I've come to a realization that nothing is gonna last for long. Nothing is forever and forever is simply nothing. Enjoy the time you have here until that very last minute comes up. Don't worry so much about everyone else, but yourself along with them. 'Cause their all you've got for now. No-ones truly alone but no one is together. Lives a journey all it's own. That saying I've seen now to be true.
Friday, February 4, 2011
"An Honest Farewell"-Me (Nov.20/09)
I may seem to be the bitch in this situation.
But,
In time,
You shall see.
It was never truelly me.
It was a mere cast of a shadow
From yet another person.
And,
Once you learn that,
You will be what you never wished.
You shall be at fault.
Not me.
So heres to you.
An honest farewell,
To the person,
I thought I knew so well.
But,
In time,
You shall see.
It was never truelly me.
It was a mere cast of a shadow
From yet another person.
And,
Once you learn that,
You will be what you never wished.
You shall be at fault.
Not me.
So heres to you.
An honest farewell,
To the person,
I thought I knew so well.
"Waiting"-Me (Nov.20/09)
Here I am.
Right in front of you.
Waiting..
Waiting..
Waiting.
Im just waiting.
Why you may ask?
I sit here waiting for you to see.
I want you to see me.
See the true me.
The person everyone see's isn't the true me.
Its a mere illusion.
An illusion I cast to hide my feelings from the world.
But you,
You I see to be different.
You, my friend are different from the world.
You are unigue.
You are yourself.
Even in the face of others.
So, here I sit.
Waiting..
Waiting..
Waiting for you to see
Me
For the true me
Right in front of you.
Waiting..
Waiting..
Waiting.
Im just waiting.
Why you may ask?
I sit here waiting for you to see.
I want you to see me.
See the true me.
The person everyone see's isn't the true me.
Its a mere illusion.
An illusion I cast to hide my feelings from the world.
But you,
You I see to be different.
You, my friend are different from the world.
You are unigue.
You are yourself.
Even in the face of others.
So, here I sit.
Waiting..
Waiting..
Waiting for you to see
Me
For the true me
"Change"-Me (Dec.3/09)
Cause
Lately
I've had time to reflect on the past.
And the events that have come and gone.
I see it to be true.
No-one stays someone for too long.
Everyone does change
Possibly emotionally.
Possibly physically.
Or
For some
Even both is possible.
One thing I am sure of
Is that I am NOT the same girl
That you had left behind.
I'm better
Stronger
and above all
Wiser.
Now more then ever before.
And I love it
Lately
I've had time to reflect on the past.
And the events that have come and gone.
I see it to be true.
No-one stays someone for too long.
Everyone does change
Possibly emotionally.
Possibly physically.
Or
For some
Even both is possible.
One thing I am sure of
Is that I am NOT the same girl
That you had left behind.
I'm better
Stronger
and above all
Wiser.
Now more then ever before.
And I love it
"You Think So"-Me (Nov.24/10)
You think you've reached the top?
Ha
More like rock bottom.
You feel as if you've won?
Ha
More like last place loser.
Let me tell you something.
Drama is annoying,
And Karma's a bitch.
But none the less,
If you mess up,
Admit it,
Learn from it,
And move on.
Don't do something you'll regret.
And if already have,
Then it's just too late.
Ha
More like rock bottom.
You feel as if you've won?
Ha
More like last place loser.
Let me tell you something.
Drama is annoying,
And Karma's a bitch.
But none the less,
If you mess up,
Admit it,
Learn from it,
And move on.
Don't do something you'll regret.
And if already have,
Then it's just too late.
"Have A Nice Life"-Me (Nov.20/10)
I'm going to be happy,
Weather people like it or not.
Im over it,
And Im over you.
Wish to see proof?
Look me in the eyes.
The eyes tell all.
You can try to get in my head all you want.
You will not succeed.
So heres what I have to say.
Have a nice life.
For I am no longer in it.
Yet you seem to dwell,
On what once was,
But what never shall be.
So,
Once again,
I wish to tell you,
Have a nice life.
Weather people like it or not.
Im over it,
And Im over you.
Wish to see proof?
Look me in the eyes.
The eyes tell all.
You can try to get in my head all you want.
You will not succeed.
So heres what I have to say.
Have a nice life.
For I am no longer in it.
Yet you seem to dwell,
On what once was,
But what never shall be.
So,
Once again,
I wish to tell you,
Have a nice life.
"High School"-Me (Jan.31/10)
High School
It sucks and it blows
People say
"The best years of your life"
But have they really seen?
Look around you.
Jocks and Preps
Punks and Goths
Geeks and Nerds
Bookworms and Open-minders
The helpers and the weepers.
So many kinds of people
So many labels
And even if your not in the fileing cabinet
Your not out of the problems
The issues
The drama
It's all around us
Even if it's not us
Or our friends
No way around it
It happens
It comes and it goes
Meanwhile, the time in-between it all
We become stronger and wiser people
Indivduals of which we'll become
Successfull from
The future holds many unknowns
But why be scared?
It's the adventure there that shows us
Who we really are
And what we can truly do
With our lifes'
So come on
Lets soar like birds
Together in a flock
Seperate on indivdual paths
Once the wind hits us..
It sucks and it blows
People say
"The best years of your life"
But have they really seen?
Look around you.
Jocks and Preps
Punks and Goths
Geeks and Nerds
Bookworms and Open-minders
The helpers and the weepers.
So many kinds of people
So many labels
And even if your not in the fileing cabinet
Your not out of the problems
The issues
The drama
It's all around us
Even if it's not us
Or our friends
No way around it
It happens
It comes and it goes
Meanwhile, the time in-between it all
We become stronger and wiser people
Indivduals of which we'll become
Successfull from
The future holds many unknowns
But why be scared?
It's the adventure there that shows us
Who we really are
And what we can truly do
With our lifes'
So come on
Lets soar like birds
Together in a flock
Seperate on indivdual paths
Once the wind hits us..
"All Grown Up"-Me (Jan.31/10)
I'm older now
I'm not so little anymore
I know about the good
And about the bad
I don't know
Why you can't except that
I'm in high school now
Second year
"Things Change"
Is what you always use to say
Well, so do we
I know more then you think
And more then I should
But
By trying to control who I am
Doesn't do any good
Only thing that comes from it is
Depression and Retalitation
All focused because of you.
The More you restrain it
The more of a backlash you'll get
You have to understand
I'll make my own mistakes
I'll make my own decisions
And that I'll be who I am
You might agree or disagree
But you gotta let me fly or fall
But for now, Let me go
I love you
That you've known for 15 years now
So look around you
Not by the past
Or
What the future might hold
I'm smart, strong, and independant
Open-mindness is my key
Whats yours?
I'm not so little anymore
I know about the good
And about the bad
I don't know
Why you can't except that
I'm in high school now
Second year
"Things Change"
Is what you always use to say
Well, so do we
I know more then you think
And more then I should
But
By trying to control who I am
Doesn't do any good
Only thing that comes from it is
Depression and Retalitation
All focused because of you.
The More you restrain it
The more of a backlash you'll get
You have to understand
I'll make my own mistakes
I'll make my own decisions
And that I'll be who I am
You might agree or disagree
But you gotta let me fly or fall
But for now, Let me go
I love you
That you've known for 15 years now
So look around you
Not by the past
Or
What the future might hold
I'm smart, strong, and independant
Open-mindness is my key
Whats yours?
"Don't Look Back Now"-Me (Feb.19)
The past is a dark and lonely place
Full of cold and pain
The future holds us with grasping warmth
For us to be happy once more
Don't look back now
'Cause I see you to be smiling
Second guessing isn't good for you
Don't look back now
For the future is looking for you
Looking for you to be you
Waiting for a chance to re-do the past
Is only a waste of your present
And a soon-to-be unhappy future
Which will soon be your new past
The past you never wished to have
The past you never wanted
So go now for the light
Go now
And don't look back
Full of cold and pain
The future holds us with grasping warmth
For us to be happy once more
Don't look back now
'Cause I see you to be smiling
Second guessing isn't good for you
Don't look back now
For the future is looking for you
Looking for you to be you
Waiting for a chance to re-do the past
Is only a waste of your present
And a soon-to-be unhappy future
Which will soon be your new past
The past you never wished to have
The past you never wanted
So go now for the light
Go now
And don't look back
"I Want You To Know"-Me (Feb 14)
Oh my sweet dear
How we both dread this awful day
The day that most celebrate their love
But we celebrate old pain
We sit here in our homes
In reality all alone
But in our hearts we are one
On this day that we are apart for the most part
We sit here and say
I hate this day
But in the end we hold true what is now
And simply remember what was then
So it won't ever happen again
I know it's only been a short while
Since we have begun dateing
And I know that we have both had terrible pasts
Some more then others
But I wanted to say that I care
I will never hurt you like you have been before
Nor how I have been as well
We learn from our past
We live for our present
And wonder over our futures
But all in all
I want you to know
I am here
I don't care if in a year from now
We are not together as we are today
But as friends we shall always stay
Through thick and thin I am here
For you I will always care about
As both a best friend and as my boyfriend
You mean alot to me
I think you know that by now
But just incase your mind or heart ever doubt
Please read this poem I have written
Cause it holds deep and true
I will always care for you
How we both dread this awful day
The day that most celebrate their love
But we celebrate old pain
We sit here in our homes
In reality all alone
But in our hearts we are one
On this day that we are apart for the most part
We sit here and say
I hate this day
But in the end we hold true what is now
And simply remember what was then
So it won't ever happen again
I know it's only been a short while
Since we have begun dateing
And I know that we have both had terrible pasts
Some more then others
But I wanted to say that I care
I will never hurt you like you have been before
Nor how I have been as well
We learn from our past
We live for our present
And wonder over our futures
But all in all
I want you to know
I am here
I don't care if in a year from now
We are not together as we are today
But as friends we shall always stay
Through thick and thin I am here
For you I will always care about
As both a best friend and as my boyfriend
You mean alot to me
I think you know that by now
But just incase your mind or heart ever doubt
Please read this poem I have written
Cause it holds deep and true
I will always care for you
"Happiness"-Me (Jan.31/10)
I can still feel your arms around me
Holding me ever so tightly
Its a feeling I won't forget
It's filled with love and warmth
This feeling is truly amazing
Because it is only a memory of you and me
Together, closely
I loved today ever so much
It was the first day in a long time
Where I needed not to worry
All my fears went away
These feelings between you and me
Mean oh so much to us
When we look at eachother
There is no worry
We know how the other is feeling
We know what the other is thinking
And we just understand eachother
This is by far amazing
I don't mean to sound stupid when I say
That you belong with me
We complete eachother
Better then any other
And that the spaces between my hands
Are right where yours belong
Just because they fit perfectly
Together as a puzzle piece
And just like a puzzle
We go together
Or we don't go
At all
Holding me ever so tightly
Its a feeling I won't forget
It's filled with love and warmth
This feeling is truly amazing
Because it is only a memory of you and me
Together, closely
I loved today ever so much
It was the first day in a long time
Where I needed not to worry
All my fears went away
These feelings between you and me
Mean oh so much to us
When we look at eachother
There is no worry
We know how the other is feeling
We know what the other is thinking
And we just understand eachother
This is by far amazing
I don't mean to sound stupid when I say
That you belong with me
We complete eachother
Better then any other
And that the spaces between my hands
Are right where yours belong
Just because they fit perfectly
Together as a puzzle piece
And just like a puzzle
We go together
Or we don't go
At all
"Winter Break"-Me (Jan.31/10)
It's winter break 2009
And it's just about freakin' time
To have fun once again
Summer was great and all
But it's just not the same anymore
I am a different kid
A different person
I'm better off this way
It saves me from all the pain
I love my friends so dearly
They make my life a lot easier
I apologize for what I've done
But you're so far past done
I'm living my life
The way I'm supposed to
Goodbye <3
And it's just about freakin' time
To have fun once again
Summer was great and all
But it's just not the same anymore
I am a different kid
A different person
I'm better off this way
It saves me from all the pain
I love my friends so dearly
They make my life a lot easier
I apologize for what I've done
But you're so far past done
I'm living my life
The way I'm supposed to
Goodbye <3
"Love"-Me (Jan.31/10)
Love
A four letter word
With oh so much meaning
But why is it that
People constantly over use it
Maybe with good intentions
But wrong idea in mind
Feelings can decieve
The heart can lie
And the mind plays tricks
So our soul is always in a maze
Only times for
Or of peace
Is when we relax and take a break
Life itself can be so confusing
BUt so can love be
Love is only a state of mind
It's when it's a perminante part of you
And your everything to eachother
Sacrifice is willing
When you truly "love" someone
A four letter word
With oh so much meaning
But why is it that
People constantly over use it
Maybe with good intentions
But wrong idea in mind
Feelings can decieve
The heart can lie
And the mind plays tricks
So our soul is always in a maze
Only times for
Or of peace
Is when we relax and take a break
Life itself can be so confusing
BUt so can love be
Love is only a state of mind
It's when it's a perminante part of you
And your everything to eachother
Sacrifice is willing
When you truly "love" someone
"Things Have Changed"-Me (Jan 31/10)
Things today have changed from yesterday
Yesterday is different from last week
Last week is different from last month
Last month is different from last year
Every year things change
And so do people
Much like me.
Look back at me a year ago today
Today I am independant and open-minded
Stubborn and intellegent
Loud and in-your-face
Guiet and invisible
I am who I am
I have amazing family
And outstanding friends
Sure I loose a few here and there
But thats their decision
It can't be forced upon anyone
It just isn't right to do
Sure people make mistakes sometimes
But others cant force upon correction
Not when indivduals aren't willing to
So let me be me
Let me make my mistakes
Let me make my friends
Let me make my own problems
And get myself back out
I will come to you when I need your help
Please
Don't force anything upon me
Not just yet
Let me live my life for now
I like my friends
I like my family
I can survive my drama
I've done it before
I can do it again.
I'm 15 and proud
Let me be me
Let me go back and be happy again.
Yesterday is different from last week
Last week is different from last month
Last month is different from last year
Every year things change
And so do people
Much like me.
Look back at me a year ago today
Today I am independant and open-minded
Stubborn and intellegent
Loud and in-your-face
Guiet and invisible
I am who I am
I have amazing family
And outstanding friends
Sure I loose a few here and there
But thats their decision
It can't be forced upon anyone
It just isn't right to do
Sure people make mistakes sometimes
But others cant force upon correction
Not when indivduals aren't willing to
So let me be me
Let me make my mistakes
Let me make my friends
Let me make my own problems
And get myself back out
I will come to you when I need your help
Please
Don't force anything upon me
Not just yet
Let me live my life for now
I like my friends
I like my family
I can survive my drama
I've done it before
I can do it again.
I'm 15 and proud
Let me be me
Let me go back and be happy again.
"Tomorows Shine"-Me (March 10)
Tomorow brings us good days
As hopes for our future continues
To only grow stronger with our lifes
Much likethe morning sun
It does rise throughout given time
And die in the darkest points
But like the moon
There are times in the darkness
Where theres a brilliant light
That comes from above
Along with the stars that shine
But do fade with the passing of time
And the sun does rise again
As hopes for our future continues
To only grow stronger with our lifes
Much likethe morning sun
It does rise throughout given time
And die in the darkest points
But like the moon
There are times in the darkness
Where theres a brilliant light
That comes from above
Along with the stars that shine
But do fade with the passing of time
And the sun does rise again
"Breaths"-Me (March 10)
Breathe
Breathe
The breath in me
Can not last much longer
It ticks like time
Getting shorter and shorter
With every breath
It won't last much longer
I am only a cluster
That time has made younger
But my breaths have made older
My time could be short
But all I know
Is that my breathing is slower
And shorter then before
I feel as is theres not much left
To me
Or in me
My life won't go on forever
And my breath shall become shallow
So please do me one favor
Let me go
Breathe
The breath in me
Can not last much longer
It ticks like time
Getting shorter and shorter
With every breath
It won't last much longer
I am only a cluster
That time has made younger
But my breaths have made older
My time could be short
But all I know
Is that my breathing is slower
And shorter then before
I feel as is theres not much left
To me
Or in me
My life won't go on forever
And my breath shall become shallow
So please do me one favor
Let me go
"Lost In Memories"-Me (March 13)
I've been lost in memory
That wont ever be true
What once could be
Is what wont ever come true
Yes it's true
I've become mad
Seeing and thinking
Of matters that arent real
I've lost myself
And who I am isn't true
I feel bad
For what has unfolded
None of it was meant to be
All of it was fake
It felt so unreal
It seems to simply only be a
An illusion of the heart
Or a nightmare of the mind
That once I wake up
It'll all dissapear
And everything will be
What it should've been
All too long ago
That wont ever be true
What once could be
Is what wont ever come true
Yes it's true
I've become mad
Seeing and thinking
Of matters that arent real
I've lost myself
And who I am isn't true
I feel bad
For what has unfolded
None of it was meant to be
All of it was fake
It felt so unreal
It seems to simply only be a
An illusion of the heart
Or a nightmare of the mind
That once I wake up
It'll all dissapear
And everything will be
What it should've been
All too long ago
"Myself"-Me (March 4)
I am but myself
In a world that does not know
Or even try to understand
Such complexities in small mysetries
That lie in a gentle grasp
And with a simple blow of the candle
Its all over
In a world that does not know
Or even try to understand
Such complexities in small mysetries
That lie in a gentle grasp
And with a simple blow of the candle
Its all over
"In This World"-Me (March 4)
Too this day
I shall stay
Like I am
No other way
But in this form
I am forever in
Hidden from the world
As if in a shell
I hide myself away
Keep to myself I must
In order to not fear
Of worry or emotion
Because in this world
They are nothing
Power and money tell all
Nothing other than it
Shall ever truly be seen
By a world who wishes
To not know it's true value
I shall stay
Like I am
No other way
But in this form
I am forever in
Hidden from the world
As if in a shell
I hide myself away
Keep to myself I must
In order to not fear
Of worry or emotion
Because in this world
They are nothing
Power and money tell all
Nothing other than it
Shall ever truly be seen
By a world who wishes
To not know it's true value
"No Name"-Me (Feb.19)
Why must the world not know
It's own marvelous mysterys
Their all honestly the same
As human beings
We all exsist as a whole
Sure we like to think
The indivduality is key
To an open universe
Thats nearly in our grasp
Just waiting for us to tame her
We all live as one
The seven signs of sins show us that
Us we're really not that different
In any meaning of the word
For all of us are guilty of emotion
That the world never knew
We are nothing but a ticking time bomb
Just waiting to go off
On an unsuspecting world
The world of which we know
Will just simply
Be nothing more
As we journey into the vastness
Of our feeble, manipulating minds
We see and learn things
That we not once thought could go on
An old world at war with itself
And all of it's inhabitants
It's own marvelous mysterys
Their all honestly the same
As human beings
We all exsist as a whole
Sure we like to think
The indivduality is key
To an open universe
Thats nearly in our grasp
Just waiting for us to tame her
We all live as one
The seven signs of sins show us that
Us we're really not that different
In any meaning of the word
For all of us are guilty of emotion
That the world never knew
We are nothing but a ticking time bomb
Just waiting to go off
On an unsuspecting world
The world of which we know
Will just simply
Be nothing more
As we journey into the vastness
Of our feeble, manipulating minds
We see and learn things
That we not once thought could go on
An old world at war with itself
And all of it's inhabitants
"Reality"-Me (March 30)
Who I am
Isn't exactly what I am
Behind this hidden shell
Is only anger and depression
Because the real me
Isn't here
I wish I could show
You who I really am
But I try to
And it runs to hide
It doesn't wanna be seen
Not even by me
Why can't this be
So easy and uncomplicated
And just enough to see
The real me
That hides me from the world
Just like a mask for my soul
One that can never come off
Because I'm scared of whats beneath it
'Cause I'm unsure of it and me
Will it truly be
What I want it to be
The real, real me.
Isn't exactly what I am
Behind this hidden shell
Is only anger and depression
Because the real me
Isn't here
I wish I could show
You who I really am
But I try to
And it runs to hide
It doesn't wanna be seen
Not even by me
Why can't this be
So easy and uncomplicated
And just enough to see
The real me
That hides me from the world
Just like a mask for my soul
One that can never come off
Because I'm scared of whats beneath it
'Cause I'm unsure of it and me
Will it truly be
What I want it to be
The real, real me.
"Don't Believe Me"-Me (March 27)
I have changed
Nothing of what you knew
Is so far now to be true
You should know your nothing but a lie too
Cause you look and see nothing
Of the real you
Or the true me
Too bad you don't have a chance now
I've moved on
I care for one person
And one person alone
And let me say
It aint you.
So forget it.
Nothing of what you knew
Is so far now to be true
You should know your nothing but a lie too
Cause you look and see nothing
Of the real you
Or the true me
Too bad you don't have a chance now
I've moved on
I care for one person
And one person alone
And let me say
It aint you.
So forget it.
"We Stand Here"-Me (March 23)
On this day
Oh this very day
Something new is taking place
Of times and news
Of sadness and death
We stand here to celebrate
Why must we be like this
On days such as today
We stand here to say
Congrats and Happy Birthday
Meanwhile others suffer in far away places
And sit there dieing as we speak
Hunger and depression
Along the side of anger and deaths
We stand here and say
Why are we this way
On this day
Oh this very day
Oh this very day
Something new is taking place
Of times and news
Of sadness and death
We stand here to celebrate
Why must we be like this
On days such as today
We stand here to say
Congrats and Happy Birthday
Meanwhile others suffer in far away places
And sit there dieing as we speak
Hunger and depression
Along the side of anger and deaths
We stand here and say
Why are we this way
On this day
Oh this very day
"A Note To My Heart"-Me (March 22)
You my sweet
Mean so much to me
When we say hello
A magical feeling comes into play
But once we have to say goodbye
There comes a sadness in my smile
Knowing that I can not
Hold you,
Kiss you,
Or even simply see you
Makes me completly miss you
All the time
When the weekend finally arrives
Happiness comes over me
Not only for no school
Or even nice weather
But you
Your arrival
Our days and times together
Are so surpassed amazing
Every little thing we say and do
I'm just happy to have spend the time with you
You are my everything
So much that you don't even know
You actually are my hero and savior
Sent to me from an angel above
Caring and listening you always are to me
Even when you have problems and issues of your own
You are so much
But mostly you are mine to treasure
We both come from troubiling times and pasts
Those of which make us worry and warn us
Of what was and what could one day be
But alone with one another
Our lifes become combined and intertwined
Strong enough so the bond shall not fall or break
When people become like this
They know that one thing is for certain
Thier lifes will never be the same with out the other
Life is forever changed never to be the same again
Together they are always
Even when its only in spirit or in mind
Mean so much to me
When we say hello
A magical feeling comes into play
But once we have to say goodbye
There comes a sadness in my smile
Knowing that I can not
Hold you,
Kiss you,
Or even simply see you
Makes me completly miss you
All the time
When the weekend finally arrives
Happiness comes over me
Not only for no school
Or even nice weather
But you
Your arrival
Our days and times together
Are so surpassed amazing
Every little thing we say and do
I'm just happy to have spend the time with you
You are my everything
So much that you don't even know
You actually are my hero and savior
Sent to me from an angel above
Caring and listening you always are to me
Even when you have problems and issues of your own
You are so much
But mostly you are mine to treasure
We both come from troubiling times and pasts
Those of which make us worry and warn us
Of what was and what could one day be
But alone with one another
Our lifes become combined and intertwined
Strong enough so the bond shall not fall or break
When people become like this
They know that one thing is for certain
Thier lifes will never be the same with out the other
Life is forever changed never to be the same again
Together they are always
Even when its only in spirit or in mind
"Light"-Me (March 16)
There comes a time
In every girls life
Where she finds the one
She calls her light
Her light is as bright
And vivid as her heart
Light and gentle
Like a kite
Her mind soars through the skies
To search for this light
But alas its not to far
That she must search and look for
As it's right there before her very eyes
Looking at her with a gazing expression
Waiting for the right moment
To say and tell her to wait
It's been there the whole time
Waiting and waiting for her to find
And see that he is the one
The one that is her light
In every girls life
Where she finds the one
She calls her light
Her light is as bright
And vivid as her heart
Light and gentle
Like a kite
Her mind soars through the skies
To search for this light
But alas its not to far
That she must search and look for
As it's right there before her very eyes
Looking at her with a gazing expression
Waiting for the right moment
To say and tell her to wait
It's been there the whole time
Waiting and waiting for her to find
And see that he is the one
The one that is her light
"We Can Destroy This World"-Me (April 21)
You and me can destroy the world
You and I can win the war
Together we come
And onward we go
To become a complete whole
And win the waging war
With eachother we will stay
Always and forever will become
Another day after day
Because we will live our lifes
The way we were meant to
The way we want to
You and I will become an us
Because together we are incapable
Of anything stopping us
From out dreams
Or our simple requests
Because we can destroy this world
This world knows of nothing
'Bout us
Or 'bout anything around us
With such cluelessness
What need us to worry
When we are us
I'll say once again
That this world can not handle
Such powers
Or such commands
From such simple small hands
Of a couple of kids
We are one
We are together
We are unstoppable as us
And together we shall destroy this world
Because we are one
And its all for one and one for all <3
You and I can win the war
Together we come
And onward we go
To become a complete whole
And win the waging war
With eachother we will stay
Always and forever will become
Another day after day
Because we will live our lifes
The way we were meant to
The way we want to
You and I will become an us
Because together we are incapable
Of anything stopping us
From out dreams
Or our simple requests
Because we can destroy this world
This world knows of nothing
'Bout us
Or 'bout anything around us
With such cluelessness
What need us to worry
When we are us
I'll say once again
That this world can not handle
Such powers
Or such commands
From such simple small hands
Of a couple of kids
We are one
We are together
We are unstoppable as us
And together we shall destroy this world
Because we are one
And its all for one and one for all <3
My "Family" Yep xD It's pretty fucked up =)
Ok. So theres me. Donna. And I have a wierd "family" when it comes to me & my good friends. Don't believe me? Keep reading this..
Ok so my sisters are: Casey, Julia, Nicole M, Nicole Q, Margret, & Yan
My brothers are: Scruffy, Tj, Darien, Dan, Giul, Jimmy, George, Anthony, Dustin, Austin, Jake, Niko, J, Justin & Jp
My Daughter(s) are: Joanna (Who's also my wife <3) and Nicole S.
My cousin(s) are: Chris C.
My Niece(s)/Neiphew(s) are: Shana
Ok, thats pretty ok right? Well guess what...
Austin's apparently my god father.
Nicole has no actuall dad seeing her actual dad is a girl I believe.
Somehow, J is Kates son?
All my actual daughters are brunette while Im naturally blonde.
Theres alot of In-breeding going on through Nicole's side of the family.
Joanna & Casey are sisters at the same time, Casey is Joanna's aunt.
Kate & Tori are sisters yet, Kates my sister and Tori's my daughter.
Darien is one of this kid Blake's mom.
Blake's dad is Austin, who is my godfather.
Nicoles Dad is Blake AND Darien.
I'm also Jake's Grandma & Mom?
And believe it or not theres probably a lot more to it XD
Ah the wonders of high school social life right? :P
We're a band of super red necks :D
"The Truth"-Me (April 17)
Your so freakin lucky I took the blame
I took the fall for everything
Everything and nothing at all
Cause in the truth of times now
You were just playing
Your stupid little games
All that was said
And all that was done
Meant nothing to anyone but you
You say your only protecting
A family like friend
Well guess what
Your not protecting anyone
Other then yourself
From what you are scared to find
You know what you really are
But your scared to say
So you hide behind your shell and say oh well
To bad you never gave yourself a chance
Cause in my eyes your were fine
But I know what I shouldnt
And you know just as well
Ive kept and hid everything we've said
Up untill now
Question is
Do you even care enough
To me starting to tell
Or will you just start another war
A war that isn't worth fighting for
All itll be is childish dreams
And fairytales of ones who use to be
Close and quiet
Now rioting around the truth
I took the fall for everything
Everything and nothing at all
Cause in the truth of times now
You were just playing
Your stupid little games
All that was said
And all that was done
Meant nothing to anyone but you
You say your only protecting
A family like friend
Well guess what
Your not protecting anyone
Other then yourself
From what you are scared to find
You know what you really are
But your scared to say
So you hide behind your shell and say oh well
To bad you never gave yourself a chance
Cause in my eyes your were fine
But I know what I shouldnt
And you know just as well
Ive kept and hid everything we've said
Up untill now
Question is
Do you even care enough
To me starting to tell
Or will you just start another war
A war that isn't worth fighting for
All itll be is childish dreams
And fairytales of ones who use to be
Close and quiet
Now rioting around the truth
"Farewell"-Me (April 16)
Oh look now.
Let me see who was wrong.
It wasn't me and it wasn't them.
So it has to be you.
So to that I say ha,
You were the problem all along.
Everything anyone ever said
To you or about you
Was just another way
Of hiding your true insanity
The side that you showed people
Was just another solution
You were never really there
For anyone but yourself
And that one special friend
That knows nothing
Though he is better of as he is now
I still wish he knew
Everything that you've ever said
Bout him and bout everyone
That you've ever known
But your nothing but a lie
So why wouldn't everything you say
Be also?
Im just gonna say this now
I miss who I thought you were
But thats only an illusion
Of what and who you were
So here I stand
Broken but getting better
Because of you I must say this
Farewell to my so called friend
Let me see who was wrong.
It wasn't me and it wasn't them.
So it has to be you.
So to that I say ha,
You were the problem all along.
Everything anyone ever said
To you or about you
Was just another way
Of hiding your true insanity
The side that you showed people
Was just another solution
You were never really there
For anyone but yourself
And that one special friend
That knows nothing
Though he is better of as he is now
I still wish he knew
Everything that you've ever said
Bout him and bout everyone
That you've ever known
But your nothing but a lie
So why wouldn't everything you say
Be also?
Im just gonna say this now
I miss who I thought you were
But thats only an illusion
Of what and who you were
So here I stand
Broken but getting better
Because of you I must say this
Farewell to my so called friend
"Kind Stranger"-Me (July 30)
Oh please newcome stranger
You must be so naive
To becomes such good friends with me
For you see
Im nothing more then myself
And it might sound a good idea
And I have been told to be some good news
But inside Im not who people think to be
Im not so nice
So please kind stranger
Dont get yourself to close
I dont wish to hurt you
Or the people around you
The people I know
And the ones I actually like
May not be the best idea
For you are to nice for them
My groups dont mix
But niether do I
My friends fight
But Im usually involved
They hold grudges
And I hold one
But you have to know
Im not what people see
Im a mess on the inside
Nothing more then a clash
Of emotion and the real world
Opening up its doors to me
As days come and go
And I dont want you to also be caught
In its revolving door
Not when Im usually put to blame
You kind stranger are something else
I've met many a person
But not quite like yourself
What makes you this way
The words you say
And things you do
You have a cause
But as for myself
Im not as lucky
Experiences change people
Normally for the better
What happened there
Are we so much alike
Or just that much different
That there is something
That makes us newfound friends
I use to judge
I use to be mean
And I wasnt the brightest
You were smart
Hardworking
And quiet
So how does now make this different
What has happened
I simply just dont want to hurt you
Like I have many before you
I hate one person
And I love another
But kind stranger
I just don't want to hurt you
Like many before
You must be so naive
To becomes such good friends with me
For you see
Im nothing more then myself
And it might sound a good idea
And I have been told to be some good news
But inside Im not who people think to be
Im not so nice
So please kind stranger
Dont get yourself to close
I dont wish to hurt you
Or the people around you
The people I know
And the ones I actually like
May not be the best idea
For you are to nice for them
My groups dont mix
But niether do I
My friends fight
But Im usually involved
They hold grudges
And I hold one
But you have to know
Im not what people see
Im a mess on the inside
Nothing more then a clash
Of emotion and the real world
Opening up its doors to me
As days come and go
And I dont want you to also be caught
In its revolving door
Not when Im usually put to blame
You kind stranger are something else
I've met many a person
But not quite like yourself
What makes you this way
The words you say
And things you do
You have a cause
But as for myself
Im not as lucky
Experiences change people
Normally for the better
What happened there
Are we so much alike
Or just that much different
That there is something
That makes us newfound friends
I use to judge
I use to be mean
And I wasnt the brightest
You were smart
Hardworking
And quiet
So how does now make this different
What has happened
I simply just dont want to hurt you
Like I have many before you
I hate one person
And I love another
But kind stranger
I just don't want to hurt you
Like many before
"The Right Thing"-Me (July 25)
I feel bored
And I feel sad
Why must everything look so bad?
All we see
And all we do
Must everything be so blue?
I just want to climb
Or maybe even fly
To someplace far, far away
It could be to the moon
Or possibly even the sun
Wheather it'd be me or you
What could we ever do?
Just sit back to watch time fly
Or run ourselfs over trying to catch
Something that wishes to rush
Time doesn't ever stop
But neither should we
Cause all we ever need
Is right where we need it to be
And I feel sad
Why must everything look so bad?
All we see
And all we do
Must everything be so blue?
I just want to climb
Or maybe even fly
To someplace far, far away
It could be to the moon
Or possibly even the sun
Wheather it'd be me or you
What could we ever do?
Just sit back to watch time fly
Or run ourselfs over trying to catch
Something that wishes to rush
Time doesn't ever stop
But neither should we
Cause all we ever need
Is right where we need it to be
"Runaway"-Me (July 24)
Mommy
Mommy
Why must we hide?
For the world maybe cold
But our hearts are warm
Daddy
Daddy
Please can we stay?
I would so like to not run away
I do not like change
Daughter
Daughter
Its ok
Mommy is here for you to say
And she is here to stay
Daughter
Daughter
You may say
To not run away
It is perfectly ok
See everyone
The world is open
And its arms are wide
It might not say
Welcome and you can stay
But why should we all just runaway?
We can still live as one
In a world built for none
We should be here till we may say
Its time for us to go
We may not know when
And we may not know how
But when that day does so much as come
Then we must obey
Cause we weren't meant to stay too long
Mommy
Why must we hide?
For the world maybe cold
But our hearts are warm
Daddy
Daddy
Please can we stay?
I would so like to not run away
I do not like change
Daughter
Daughter
Its ok
Mommy is here for you to say
And she is here to stay
Daughter
Daughter
You may say
To not run away
It is perfectly ok
See everyone
The world is open
And its arms are wide
It might not say
Welcome and you can stay
But why should we all just runaway?
We can still live as one
In a world built for none
We should be here till we may say
Its time for us to go
We may not know when
And we may not know how
But when that day does so much as come
Then we must obey
Cause we weren't meant to stay too long
"Possibly Me"-Me (July 24)
You look at me
You look at me
Please tell me what you see?
Am I just a figure to you
A hollow shell of nothing but metal?
Or something more
More then you can possibly go for?
Oh please please tell me
What you possibly can see in me
All I can see lately
Is my mistaken reflection in the mirror
And a girl wishing to be herself
It's not so much fun
When the world around you screams and yells
All people do these days is judge and tell
The world what a horrible person eachother are
Sure it's the life we must live
But why spread such disgust around us
We may fight
And we may thrive
Or so shall we die one day
We're all bound to eventually
So why not take a simple moment to hear me out?
It's not really a waste of such precious time
This is for the people who can hear me
And have helped me get to where I am
For all of you
Yes, even you
Have got me to the point
Of realizing the world isn't so nice
But there are people within in our lifes that make it better
So I wish to say on this ordinary day
That I want to thank you
For everything you've done
And will hopefully continue to do
Thank you. <3
You look at me
Please tell me what you see?
Am I just a figure to you
A hollow shell of nothing but metal?
Or something more
More then you can possibly go for?
Oh please please tell me
What you possibly can see in me
All I can see lately
Is my mistaken reflection in the mirror
And a girl wishing to be herself
It's not so much fun
When the world around you screams and yells
All people do these days is judge and tell
The world what a horrible person eachother are
Sure it's the life we must live
But why spread such disgust around us
We may fight
And we may thrive
Or so shall we die one day
We're all bound to eventually
So why not take a simple moment to hear me out?
It's not really a waste of such precious time
This is for the people who can hear me
And have helped me get to where I am
For all of you
Yes, even you
Have got me to the point
Of realizing the world isn't so nice
But there are people within in our lifes that make it better
So I wish to say on this ordinary day
That I want to thank you
For everything you've done
And will hopefully continue to do
Thank you. <3
"Un-Named"-Me (Aug.25)
Come close
And tell me
What you could possibly see
In a person such as me
Is it a simple fairytale
Or a gruesome nightmare
In the midst of darkness
For you see
Everyone has their own story
Whether they tell it
Or the try hiding it
Everyone has one
And everyone
See's things just a little different
For if we all saw something the same
It wouldn't have any mystery in it
And without mystery
The world would be
A much sadder,
Depressing place
For each
And everyone of us
Life would be ordinary
And very dull
No point in living
If you already know the ending
And how it happens
So why do we all just sit around
Watching others have fun?
Why can't we
Have our own fun
Sure we are all different
That part is for sure
But what exactly makes the term "wierd"
Who once made a real rule
Saying that "Normal" was the only way
That anyone could be considered "cool"
How about this
We all do our own thing
And enjoy it
Forget the world
And be who we are
Now
Go
And live life
You won't trully regret something
Unless you've experienced it first
And tell me
What you could possibly see
In a person such as me
Is it a simple fairytale
Or a gruesome nightmare
In the midst of darkness
For you see
Everyone has their own story
Whether they tell it
Or the try hiding it
Everyone has one
And everyone
See's things just a little different
For if we all saw something the same
It wouldn't have any mystery in it
And without mystery
The world would be
A much sadder,
Depressing place
For each
And everyone of us
Life would be ordinary
And very dull
No point in living
If you already know the ending
And how it happens
So why do we all just sit around
Watching others have fun?
Why can't we
Have our own fun
Sure we are all different
That part is for sure
But what exactly makes the term "wierd"
Who once made a real rule
Saying that "Normal" was the only way
That anyone could be considered "cool"
How about this
We all do our own thing
And enjoy it
Forget the world
And be who we are
Now
Go
And live life
You won't trully regret something
Unless you've experienced it first
Free-handed Poem -Me (October 9)
I dont know whats in my own head
All these lyrics
All these thoughts
Theyre all just coming to me
What to say
What to do
And how to be
How i should act
All these things
All these ways
How is one supposed to know
Where to start
And where to go
Where to end
And how far
Till theyll simply all just fall
I dont know what im going to do
How im going to do it
Or when
But all i do know
Is that im going to be me
Wheather thats right
Or im nothing but wrong
Im sorry but i just cant
Be who you want
And who you crave
Im nothing like you think
And surely not what you see
So can you do me a favor
And simply leave
I need to be me
I need some space
I wanna move on
But your problems arent helping
Their making my mind a wreck
More then it was
At the start
I really did care
But you pushed me away
So what you expect me to say
I just cant do anymore
Im not gonna say go away
But i wont let you stay
I need to be who i am
And who i want
I need time
And i need a break
I think im starting to move on
But my minds a mess
And guess what
This time
Ill be the one to fix it
"Life"-Me (October 6)
So I see things clearly now
These times,
They're back once more
What will they bring us now?
Cause looking back
Time is but a record
Either click play
Or let it stay
But there is not rewind
And Im perfectly fine with that
No time for regrets
No time to forget
But theres time to move on
And let life be what it wants to
Cause really
What else could it be?
We don't have any real control over it
Only us
And our minds
Even that
That is minor
Somethings will still happen
And everything will change
But look at it this way
Without change
There is no sense in reality
Cause everything
And anything
Would be ordinary
"A Poem"-Me (November 4)
Look at me
And listen for a moment
I think we have all come to this
At one point or another
But the fact simply is
Life isn't what most make it out to be
It's a constant challenge.
One where people can lose
And lose badly
Their are no winners
Because we're all destined to the same fate.
But yet
We continue these little sharades
And games
Our minds...
Aren't what they once were
All the innocence...
It's all gone
Why do we continusly let ourselfs
Be tricked and fooled by the same old routines
Nothing stays for long
Nothing is permanent
Things change
And I'm pretty sure that by now,
We all hate that extremly
Well this is what I have to say..
Forget it.
Cause now,
I'm awake.
I'm me.
And nothings going to change the one person I trust
He knows who he is
And it's going to stay that way
I have good friends by my side sure
But he's my best.
I'm done living up to what people expect
So with this I say to you
I'm done.
And listen for a moment
I think we have all come to this
At one point or another
But the fact simply is
Life isn't what most make it out to be
It's a constant challenge.
One where people can lose
And lose badly
Their are no winners
Because we're all destined to the same fate.
But yet
We continue these little sharades
And games
Our minds...
Aren't what they once were
All the innocence...
It's all gone
Why do we continusly let ourselfs
Be tricked and fooled by the same old routines
Nothing stays for long
Nothing is permanent
Things change
And I'm pretty sure that by now,
We all hate that extremly
Well this is what I have to say..
Forget it.
Cause now,
I'm awake.
I'm me.
And nothings going to change the one person I trust
He knows who he is
And it's going to stay that way
I have good friends by my side sure
But he's my best.
I'm done living up to what people expect
So with this I say to you
I'm done.
"Forever Gone"-Me (November 28)
Let me just begin with saying
I have changed
That part was true
But apparently
Not much else was
You left me
But I get all the blame
In your eyes
And even your pathetic mind
I can't believe
Or think back to anything
Good I saw in a person like you
You've lied through your teeth
You've lied through your promises
And you played with my emotions
I trusted you
And it's because I did
That the truth eventually came out
Was I honestly a puppet?
Why did I keep it up?
I played your little games
I listened and believe everything you said
Sure we had our ups & downs
But in the end
At that time anyway,
We always went back to ok
But count up those times
I shouldve woke up sooner
A lot sooner
I can't believe how naive I was
To even get close to a person
You now show yourself to be
Hypocrtical
Lying
Depressing
Attention Seeking
Clueless
Fake.
I can't believe I finally woke up
Even with your apologizes
Which were simply skin deep
No emotion behind them
You really should go into acting
Cause you'd be perfect
A great preformance
But nothing else but a preformance
I hope you fucking know
You've replaced the one person I hate
Yea, congradulations
I'm forever gone.
I have changed
That part was true
But apparently
Not much else was
You left me
But I get all the blame
In your eyes
And even your pathetic mind
I can't believe
Or think back to anything
Good I saw in a person like you
You've lied through your teeth
You've lied through your promises
And you played with my emotions
I trusted you
And it's because I did
That the truth eventually came out
Was I honestly a puppet?
Why did I keep it up?
I played your little games
I listened and believe everything you said
Sure we had our ups & downs
But in the end
At that time anyway,
We always went back to ok
But count up those times
I shouldve woke up sooner
A lot sooner
I can't believe how naive I was
To even get close to a person
You now show yourself to be
Hypocrtical
Lying
Depressing
Attention Seeking
Clueless
Fake.
I can't believe I finally woke up
Even with your apologizes
Which were simply skin deep
No emotion behind them
You really should go into acting
Cause you'd be perfect
A great preformance
But nothing else but a preformance
I hope you fucking know
You've replaced the one person I hate
Yea, congradulations
I'm forever gone.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I've Told You...
After last night, I've told you it all.
All of my emotions
All of my distress
Even with help from everyone else
I still can't completly let you go
You've caused me so much crap
So much stress
Your the reason
I can get so upset
So depressed.
I want to say I don't care what you say
About me
To me
Or for me even
But I can't
Not without lying
I can say
That I did love you
And that I truly never knew
What hate was before you
I used it way to often
Without even knowing
The true extent
That it can get.
You dumped me
Both of the times
And yet to this day
Or at least yesterday
I've gotten all of the crap
From everyone
From you
And even myself
I cant believe what has happened
I cant believe what I've done
I've become the oppposite
And I hate to admit it
Yea I have said I've changed
But I admit less then I should
It's because of you
That I'm scared.
I'm scared to be real
I'm scared to be in another "real"
Relationship.
I've had my fair share
Of bad boyfriends
But you,
You just ruined it.
I don't even say love.
Not more then a friend
It's because of you,
That when I look through old pictures
Of us from last year,
Or even summer,
I break down and cry.
It's because of you,
That I've become this
This...this shell
I hate it
And I hope you know
This all.
Cause from now on
I know the truth
Your fucking nothing.
And you diserve exactly that...
All of my emotions
All of my distress
Even with help from everyone else
I still can't completly let you go
You've caused me so much crap
So much stress
Your the reason
I can get so upset
So depressed.
I want to say I don't care what you say
About me
To me
Or for me even
But I can't
Not without lying
I can say
That I did love you
And that I truly never knew
What hate was before you
I used it way to often
Without even knowing
The true extent
That it can get.
You dumped me
Both of the times
And yet to this day
Or at least yesterday
I've gotten all of the crap
From everyone
From you
And even myself
I cant believe what has happened
I cant believe what I've done
I've become the oppposite
And I hate to admit it
Yea I have said I've changed
But I admit less then I should
It's because of you
That I'm scared.
I'm scared to be real
I'm scared to be in another "real"
Relationship.
I've had my fair share
Of bad boyfriends
But you,
You just ruined it.
I don't even say love.
Not more then a friend
It's because of you,
That when I look through old pictures
Of us from last year,
Or even summer,
I break down and cry.
It's because of you,
That I've become this
This...this shell
I hate it
And I hope you know
This all.
Cause from now on
I know the truth
Your fucking nothing.
And you diserve exactly that...
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