Why...why...and simply why...

Last night was the start of Halloween week. It's a time for scary movies, lots and lots of candy, costumes, blood and all the nightmares to come real. And I think that is exactly happening...

Yesterday was Joanna's Halloween pumpkin carving party. A few people went. And I, as usual had been texting Dustin since we both woke up earlier that day. I had told Joanna the night before the party I would show her some of our texts. Cause their just to freakin' adorable.


So I showed her some messages before anyone else got there. And she started texting him from my phone saying how cute we we're and how "we're so in love" and everything. And he was really happy. But I took my phone back and had apologized. Later on, and I mean hours later, Joanna, I and everyone were at Duck Park by her house. And she saw we were still texting. She kept saying we're dating. I asked her to simply explain her logic and she told me. It made a lot of sense. But thing I wasn't so happy or anxious about...was telling Scruffy.

I had liked Dustin for a few days, and he's liked me since the begining pretty much. Within the first two weeks he said. So we kinda ended up asking the other out in the time me and everyone were at the park. I'm, even now, not sure what the fuck to do. Cause, I do really like him. But I'm making everything worse between me and Scruffy. And he absolutely, without a doubt in my mind, means the fucking world to me. If he isn't happy, I'm not. At all. I owe him my life by now and I honestly mean that. He is my best friend and family. If me, not dating Dustin, makes things better, then...I'll do it. Sure, it'd be really hard...but I would.

Scruffy and Dustin are talking after school today about this and me and everything going on...and if Dustin screws up once...Scruffy will snap. And I do mean it. I would call him right after I get outta school...but I have a half day. They get out at 2:20 I believe. I told Scruffy to call me right after school. And I'll remember when Dustin text's me after he gets out. Which is right before Scruffy.