It's great getting ignored by people isn't? Especially by those you care a lot more then you know you should. I mean, what the fuck. I'm not a temporary person. You can't just deal with and decide to talk to me when you want. Not the way you're handiling it at least. You only are sweet & adorable when you want something. Or whenever you need actual help. And everyone else has wised up and chose not to be there. Right? Exactly.
I don't know what the fuck it even is about you. I really think its cause you say what no one else does about me. Well, not meaningfully anyway. I really do. That, and my head is up my god forsaken ass and hidden somewhere in the past when you DID care about my feelings. Human emotions, specially teenaged ones, girls...are not play toys. What.The.Fuck.Dude. Why they HELL do I care SO god damn much?!? T-T It's really annoying.
At times, I'm in a pissy mood and you MAGICALLY appear on my phone and text me being all fucking cute and sweet and caring and just...I know not to listen. I know not to believe what you say..but the more we talk, the more I put what you did aside. And I get my hopes up that you grew up. That you've changed.
But times like today are proof you haven't. They really fucking are. I don't know what or how you do it dude, but stop. Please. You're screwing me up badly. And you fucking know it. I still have feelings for you. Whatever they even were or are, they're there. Ok? HAPPY? I said it. You might not have seen "us" as real. But I sure as hell did. And I still think of what we could have been.
Then again, I'm just another idiot.