You think I don't know how great he is for you?
You think I just like feeling this way?
The only reason it hurts is cause you hide it.
And when you dont...
It comes out all at one giant shot to my head.
I love you two together
I really fucking do
You guys work things out
Cause you can get how the other feels
But just quit thinking I cant handle this
When you know I've personally done worse.
Im sorry Im such a fucking bitch
I really am
I really hate who I am
And I have for the longest time
Im so much I wish I wasnt
But I cant change
Not anymore
Not for the better
Im sorry that it hurts
But if I hid this from you
You'd be the same.
Understanding but hurt.
Am I wrong?
No.
Even you've said so.
I knew what your plans were with him this week
Thats why I asked you
To see if things have changed
I was so hoping youd own up and say what I knew
But you didnt
Not really at least
Im sorry that I like honesty
And that I still care for him
But all I ever seem to do lately
Is screw things up
If I didnt
Id still be with him
I wouldnt have Joe on my fucking ass
Kep would leave me alone
Id be better
But like the saying goes
Dont live in the past
And Im really trying not to
I wish there was a way to show you
Or even tell you upfront
Everything that Im feeling right now
Im crying
Yes
I know Im weak
Im just getting weaker too
Ill admit
Even the smallest things with anyone
Even you sometimes
Can set me off
And Ill be bitchy
But please understand
I fucking love you
The REAL you.
Youve said yourself
Ive seen you in ways no one else does
But thats exactly it
I know
Or at least kinda
Know the real you
From what Ive seen
From what youve said
And from the knowledge of others
I love you.
I really do.
I cant be mad
And I dont wanna be
I just....
I just really dont wanna loose the only true chick friend I have left...
Not over this
Im sorry for who I am
You dont know how much I wish I could change me...
Im so truthfully sorry
But please...
Understand my side.
It doesnt hurt that you like him
Or that he likes you
Im over him in that sense
Dead honest
But it just hurts
That you continue to hide
Till you read what Im writing..