Finding old conversations from back when I dated Joe...and the night we broke up...the days after that...it isn't my favorite way of ending a night..especially when I was already upset as is.. :\ Bleh

I dont know exactly what it is but I'm just really kinda down. I'm kinda going through a lot of shit in my head ever since the walk home...being honest I've nearly just broken down (only tearing though) about 2-3 times. =\ And believe me, I know it isn't good.

Talking would be something I'd love to do right now. Not sure exactly on what topic, just in general. I'd REALLY love it if I could be with Tom right now. Even be lucky enough to go over his place after school tomorow would be amazing. But...I know I cant. Family doesn't know bout us yet...and we have to keep it that way untill we're able...well...till HE's able to tell Zack. =\

I've gone through all the guys I've either dated or liked in my head. Reasons and everything. I honestly don't know whats truly wrong with me I guess. I miss a few of them to be honest. But I'd be a slut/whore or something if I told them how I felt. I only have Strong enough feelings to date & love Tom. But it doesn't stop my questioning.

It's really just my emotion talking through my words right now. But it is true when I say I miss you.
I miss us...

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I can't believe what I've said to some people in the past. And I kinda wanna know what I was on durring the time of me saying most of it. Like, I know it made me happy then but like..look what I gotta do to pay for it say now? I don't think it was quite worth it all.

I've loved only 1 person like that in my life. And I hate who it was. I hate him above almost everyone.

I'm so glad to finnally find a guy I think could be worth something. Worth my time. Worth it. But I do have my doubts...it's just...he ACTUALLY makes me happy. Happier then I show me to be, happier then I've been in awhile. My closest & bestest friend Scruffy & now Tom are my rocks. Seeing as that my old rock is, in my eyes, starting to crumble...

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What'll be next?

Another adventure. <3