I don't know what I can even say anymore that wouldn't make me sound like a fucking record. Lets just see what's really inside me now, shall we?
- Oh hey there. Know me? Really? No surprise. I've opened up to you pretty quickly. I care about you so fucking much that it can at times scare the shit out of me. But then on days & nights like this, I'm just lost. I'm learning to just deal with it and not let it ruin my day. But of course it does effect it. What would you rather me do? Of course I'm going to constantly check & make sure you're ok. I care SO much. I won't say its my job, cause that sounds rude. But its someting I do. I'm sorry if I ever annoy you. But our little situation does bug me sometimes too. But seeing you hurt is something I really hate. I don't care too much whats wrong with me, as long as you're ok. And I know it's probably wrong to say this luv but sometimes I just don't know what to do anymore. I just kinda put my phone down and walk away. Cause I know I can't help. I know I can't do anything. And I know that once you finally do actually make you're choice, somethings gonna happen. I just hope it's not what has happened with me & people before. I'll be fine both ways as long as we're friends. But if by chance we become more, I just don't want to hurt you. I love you, that simple. You're amazing. One of a kind for sure. I'll always care about you. And like you've said, I've changed since you. You've made me better pretty much. Though I just wonder what this school year will be like. How much more of these people I can honestly take. I do understand whats going on though, to some extent at least. I know it's not your fault to much, I just wish I knew what was going on durring times like this. Ya know? And trust me, I know you're not "that kinda guy", I know that you're not. This stuff happens to us all eventually. It's not that big a deal, I know, it's just how I am. All I want is you happy & I'll be good. I'm sorry for being like this, but this..this is honesty at it's finest. Just, don't hate me or leave please? Stay in my life.
- Im slowly but surely trying to forget you. All the times you've tried getting back into my life, just to fuck shit up with us both & my friends, I'm done. I've been done. Theres nothing I really want more right now then for you to just dissapear. I hate you. I do. That I know. Last nights poem proves how bad things got. I forgot bout that night "dear". I was so low then, it wasn't good at all. I love Scruffy for being there too. Always will. But you, you can go fall off a fucking normal ass cliff. No more of my imigation ones. Just go try to fly or something. You've got the intellegence of a fish just longer lasting. I fucking can't stand you, and what you put me through. More then once. And you just keep trying. Fuck off you piece of shit. Not like you're even completly on earth anyway, why not leave it. I'm pretty sure we'll have more respect that way. Become a space monkey please. Oh wait sorry, forgot, no one would want you. Well, other then my stupid ass self did. Longest lasting relationship my ass. I don't count most if anything of that. You used me. Played me. Lied. And then turned around and dumped yet blamed everything on me. All the shit you did to yourself, even to this VERY fucking day, all my fault. Yep. Become a zombie maybe, you'll be fun to kill. Easy too.
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