I just loved this picture too much..
Monday, March 7, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Rambiling time? Sure
Would it make sense for me to say I'm overly stressed and it can show but yet....my stomach & heart are going a million miles an hour? I hate today up till now other then being held by the person I think I could maybe love. ^///^ <3
Would it make sense to say that I feel tossed aside by my in-state best friend because he's ditching plans I made for us and replacing the (Donna) in it with (insert his other half here)? Even if I had done that to him before when I was with Joe? Just cause the shit with Joe was, majority ruling, not my fault?
I think most girls could agree with this...hugs from behind are the best hugs of all. Standing, sitting, or leaning. If its from someone you have strong enough feelings for....it's better then anything. <3
And yes, my brain isn't quite on duty today...be aware for random changes in topic & attitude.
Would it make sense to say that I feel tossed aside by my in-state best friend because he's ditching plans I made for us and replacing the (Donna) in it with (insert his other half here)? Even if I had done that to him before when I was with Joe? Just cause the shit with Joe was, majority ruling, not my fault?
I think most girls could agree with this...hugs from behind are the best hugs of all. Standing, sitting, or leaning. If its from someone you have strong enough feelings for....it's better then anything. <3
And yes, my brain isn't quite on duty today...be aware for random changes in topic & attitude.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Today........-w-
"You are so beautiful" : ETF <33333
Today was just bleh to woah <3 I can't believe everything could go so well in a single day. Like...holy crap dude. <3
Darien is in thee BEST mood I've seen him in god only knows how long. If I ever even have. <3
Me & Tom are still kind of confusing but I stopped worrying & questioning what we're doing. And damn am I happy I have....we finnally truly kissed <333333
Though theres something I now worry about, seeing the fact he hasn't told Zack that we're even talking yet...and probably for me&his own sake shouldn't...long story but lets just say Zack = Wants to kill Darien & anyone who associates with him. =\ But whatever. We'll see what happens :P
Just saying.....i love this<3333333
Today was just bleh to woah <3 I can't believe everything could go so well in a single day. Like...holy crap dude. <3
Darien is in thee BEST mood I've seen him in god only knows how long. If I ever even have. <3
Me & Tom are still kind of confusing but I stopped worrying & questioning what we're doing. And damn am I happy I have....we finnally truly kissed <333333
Though theres something I now worry about, seeing the fact he hasn't told Zack that we're even talking yet...and probably for me&his own sake shouldn't...long story but lets just say Zack = Wants to kill Darien & anyone who associates with him. =\ But whatever. We'll see what happens :P
Just saying.....i love this<3333333
What to do...oh what to do. -Sigh- xD
Darien's happy as ever
I've got a great guy by my side,
My bestest friend ever there for me,
And Darien & Joanna. :3
It's been pretty good lately ^^ <3
I don't know exactly whats going on, but I'm not questioning anything anymore :D having fun now and thats all I'll worry about. =]
I don't give a fuck. People are retarded. I'm not. It's all good (:
I've got a great guy by my side,
My bestest friend ever there for me,
And Darien & Joanna. :3
It's been pretty good lately ^^ <3
I don't know exactly whats going on, but I'm not questioning anything anymore :D having fun now and thats all I'll worry about. =]
I don't give a fuck. People are retarded. I'm not. It's all good (:
Friday, February 25, 2011
New project....A storybook.
Photo II....not my best of subject this year. Then again, what is? Anywayz, we got a new project. An individual project. Mine? "Donna: Digital: Create a book following a week in the life of Donna." This should be interesting. My choice of book style? Star. My idea? 25 shots right? Well, 5 pages must be made for have a star. So 25/5 = 5. Four close friends, And on page to myself. Lets see....
And 1....2.....3.....GO!
And 1....2.....3.....GO!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
"Tell Me Where We Go From Here...."
Today is the first day back from the 4 day break and everything's going by so quickly....
-Fencing's finally over with other then the After Season Meeting & Dinner.
-HSPA is exactly a week from today.
I guess those would be the only MAJOR things going on right now..but...in my opinion, there's so much more...
People, in general, piss me the fuck off. Austin, Anthony, Em, Joe, Jimmy....just people. And talk is already starting up about the Junior Dance (I can't spell it so I just say dance). And People like Dan are wanting me to go. Whether I explain the fact I don't have many friends in my own grade or not. I really do not see a point in me going, or even thinking of going. I'd have no fun, and probably would end up almost as horrible as the Freshman year dance went for me..-sigh- =\
I'm trying to balance emotions with work and it's not exactly working out very well.I, at the same time, want and don't want a boyfriend. Or just, I don't even really know. Just....someone. If that makes any sense. I guess I've become so accustomed to the feeling & thought of having someone there, to fill that gap...I feel weird without it. And I try & try & try to fill it, just to get an oddly based sorta friendship which later on explodes in my own face...I don't know what I'm looking for....I guess..just...someone normal. Someone, who I can have an easy-going, simple, loving, TRUE relation with...I don't know...
And last off I guess for now, I know I have A LOT of stuff to figure out....and I will in time. I'll find out who I truly am. But I do have a strong feeling I'm not gonna like it...
-Fencing's finally over with other then the After Season Meeting & Dinner.
-HSPA is exactly a week from today.
I guess those would be the only MAJOR things going on right now..but...in my opinion, there's so much more...
People, in general, piss me the fuck off. Austin, Anthony, Em, Joe, Jimmy....just people. And talk is already starting up about the Junior Dance (I can't spell it so I just say dance). And People like Dan are wanting me to go. Whether I explain the fact I don't have many friends in my own grade or not. I really do not see a point in me going, or even thinking of going. I'd have no fun, and probably would end up almost as horrible as the Freshman year dance went for me..-sigh- =\
I'm trying to balance emotions with work and it's not exactly working out very well.I, at the same time, want and don't want a boyfriend. Or just, I don't even really know. Just....someone. If that makes any sense. I guess I've become so accustomed to the feeling & thought of having someone there, to fill that gap...I feel weird without it. And I try & try & try to fill it, just to get an oddly based sorta friendship which later on explodes in my own face...I don't know what I'm looking for....I guess..just...someone normal. Someone, who I can have an easy-going, simple, loving, TRUE relation with...I don't know...
And last off I guess for now, I know I have A LOT of stuff to figure out....and I will in time. I'll find out who I truly am. But I do have a strong feeling I'm not gonna like it...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Dananananananananananana BATMAN!
"I wonder if you’ll notice, if they lock me up and throw away the key
Gotta be open minded, you’ve got a lot to learn in the ways of me
You’ve always got to say something,
I’m none of your concern but you won't listen at all
You know I’d rather say nothing, and just be proud of myself
I’m tearing down these walls."
-Better Off This Way : A Day To Remember
I've come to a realization that nothing is gonna last for long. Nothing is forever and forever is simply nothing. Enjoy the time you have here until that very last minute comes up. Don't worry so much about everyone else, but yourself along with them. 'Cause their all you've got for now. No-ones truly alone but no one is together. Lives a journey all it's own. That saying I've seen now to be true.
Friday, February 4, 2011
"An Honest Farewell"-Me (Nov.20/09)
I may seem to be the bitch in this situation.
But,
In time,
You shall see.
It was never truelly me.
It was a mere cast of a shadow
From yet another person.
And,
Once you learn that,
You will be what you never wished.
You shall be at fault.
Not me.
So heres to you.
An honest farewell,
To the person,
I thought I knew so well.
But,
In time,
You shall see.
It was never truelly me.
It was a mere cast of a shadow
From yet another person.
And,
Once you learn that,
You will be what you never wished.
You shall be at fault.
Not me.
So heres to you.
An honest farewell,
To the person,
I thought I knew so well.
"Waiting"-Me (Nov.20/09)
Here I am.
Right in front of you.
Waiting..
Waiting..
Waiting.
Im just waiting.
Why you may ask?
I sit here waiting for you to see.
I want you to see me.
See the true me.
The person everyone see's isn't the true me.
Its a mere illusion.
An illusion I cast to hide my feelings from the world.
But you,
You I see to be different.
You, my friend are different from the world.
You are unigue.
You are yourself.
Even in the face of others.
So, here I sit.
Waiting..
Waiting..
Waiting for you to see
Me
For the true me
Right in front of you.
Waiting..
Waiting..
Waiting.
Im just waiting.
Why you may ask?
I sit here waiting for you to see.
I want you to see me.
See the true me.
The person everyone see's isn't the true me.
Its a mere illusion.
An illusion I cast to hide my feelings from the world.
But you,
You I see to be different.
You, my friend are different from the world.
You are unigue.
You are yourself.
Even in the face of others.
So, here I sit.
Waiting..
Waiting..
Waiting for you to see
Me
For the true me
"Change"-Me (Dec.3/09)
Cause
Lately
I've had time to reflect on the past.
And the events that have come and gone.
I see it to be true.
No-one stays someone for too long.
Everyone does change
Possibly emotionally.
Possibly physically.
Or
For some
Even both is possible.
One thing I am sure of
Is that I am NOT the same girl
That you had left behind.
I'm better
Stronger
and above all
Wiser.
Now more then ever before.
And I love it
Lately
I've had time to reflect on the past.
And the events that have come and gone.
I see it to be true.
No-one stays someone for too long.
Everyone does change
Possibly emotionally.
Possibly physically.
Or
For some
Even both is possible.
One thing I am sure of
Is that I am NOT the same girl
That you had left behind.
I'm better
Stronger
and above all
Wiser.
Now more then ever before.
And I love it
"You Think So"-Me (Nov.24/10)
You think you've reached the top?
Ha
More like rock bottom.
You feel as if you've won?
Ha
More like last place loser.
Let me tell you something.
Drama is annoying,
And Karma's a bitch.
But none the less,
If you mess up,
Admit it,
Learn from it,
And move on.
Don't do something you'll regret.
And if already have,
Then it's just too late.
Ha
More like rock bottom.
You feel as if you've won?
Ha
More like last place loser.
Let me tell you something.
Drama is annoying,
And Karma's a bitch.
But none the less,
If you mess up,
Admit it,
Learn from it,
And move on.
Don't do something you'll regret.
And if already have,
Then it's just too late.
"Have A Nice Life"-Me (Nov.20/10)
I'm going to be happy,
Weather people like it or not.
Im over it,
And Im over you.
Wish to see proof?
Look me in the eyes.
The eyes tell all.
You can try to get in my head all you want.
You will not succeed.
So heres what I have to say.
Have a nice life.
For I am no longer in it.
Yet you seem to dwell,
On what once was,
But what never shall be.
So,
Once again,
I wish to tell you,
Have a nice life.
Weather people like it or not.
Im over it,
And Im over you.
Wish to see proof?
Look me in the eyes.
The eyes tell all.
You can try to get in my head all you want.
You will not succeed.
So heres what I have to say.
Have a nice life.
For I am no longer in it.
Yet you seem to dwell,
On what once was,
But what never shall be.
So,
Once again,
I wish to tell you,
Have a nice life.
"High School"-Me (Jan.31/10)
High School
It sucks and it blows
People say
"The best years of your life"
But have they really seen?
Look around you.
Jocks and Preps
Punks and Goths
Geeks and Nerds
Bookworms and Open-minders
The helpers and the weepers.
So many kinds of people
So many labels
And even if your not in the fileing cabinet
Your not out of the problems
The issues
The drama
It's all around us
Even if it's not us
Or our friends
No way around it
It happens
It comes and it goes
Meanwhile, the time in-between it all
We become stronger and wiser people
Indivduals of which we'll become
Successfull from
The future holds many unknowns
But why be scared?
It's the adventure there that shows us
Who we really are
And what we can truly do
With our lifes'
So come on
Lets soar like birds
Together in a flock
Seperate on indivdual paths
Once the wind hits us..
It sucks and it blows
People say
"The best years of your life"
But have they really seen?
Look around you.
Jocks and Preps
Punks and Goths
Geeks and Nerds
Bookworms and Open-minders
The helpers and the weepers.
So many kinds of people
So many labels
And even if your not in the fileing cabinet
Your not out of the problems
The issues
The drama
It's all around us
Even if it's not us
Or our friends
No way around it
It happens
It comes and it goes
Meanwhile, the time in-between it all
We become stronger and wiser people
Indivduals of which we'll become
Successfull from
The future holds many unknowns
But why be scared?
It's the adventure there that shows us
Who we really are
And what we can truly do
With our lifes'
So come on
Lets soar like birds
Together in a flock
Seperate on indivdual paths
Once the wind hits us..
"All Grown Up"-Me (Jan.31/10)
I'm older now
I'm not so little anymore
I know about the good
And about the bad
I don't know
Why you can't except that
I'm in high school now
Second year
"Things Change"
Is what you always use to say
Well, so do we
I know more then you think
And more then I should
But
By trying to control who I am
Doesn't do any good
Only thing that comes from it is
Depression and Retalitation
All focused because of you.
The More you restrain it
The more of a backlash you'll get
You have to understand
I'll make my own mistakes
I'll make my own decisions
And that I'll be who I am
You might agree or disagree
But you gotta let me fly or fall
But for now, Let me go
I love you
That you've known for 15 years now
So look around you
Not by the past
Or
What the future might hold
I'm smart, strong, and independant
Open-mindness is my key
Whats yours?
I'm not so little anymore
I know about the good
And about the bad
I don't know
Why you can't except that
I'm in high school now
Second year
"Things Change"
Is what you always use to say
Well, so do we
I know more then you think
And more then I should
But
By trying to control who I am
Doesn't do any good
Only thing that comes from it is
Depression and Retalitation
All focused because of you.
The More you restrain it
The more of a backlash you'll get
You have to understand
I'll make my own mistakes
I'll make my own decisions
And that I'll be who I am
You might agree or disagree
But you gotta let me fly or fall
But for now, Let me go
I love you
That you've known for 15 years now
So look around you
Not by the past
Or
What the future might hold
I'm smart, strong, and independant
Open-mindness is my key
Whats yours?
"Don't Look Back Now"-Me (Feb.19)
The past is a dark and lonely place
Full of cold and pain
The future holds us with grasping warmth
For us to be happy once more
Don't look back now
'Cause I see you to be smiling
Second guessing isn't good for you
Don't look back now
For the future is looking for you
Looking for you to be you
Waiting for a chance to re-do the past
Is only a waste of your present
And a soon-to-be unhappy future
Which will soon be your new past
The past you never wished to have
The past you never wanted
So go now for the light
Go now
And don't look back
Full of cold and pain
The future holds us with grasping warmth
For us to be happy once more
Don't look back now
'Cause I see you to be smiling
Second guessing isn't good for you
Don't look back now
For the future is looking for you
Looking for you to be you
Waiting for a chance to re-do the past
Is only a waste of your present
And a soon-to-be unhappy future
Which will soon be your new past
The past you never wished to have
The past you never wanted
So go now for the light
Go now
And don't look back
"I Want You To Know"-Me (Feb 14)
Oh my sweet dear
How we both dread this awful day
The day that most celebrate their love
But we celebrate old pain
We sit here in our homes
In reality all alone
But in our hearts we are one
On this day that we are apart for the most part
We sit here and say
I hate this day
But in the end we hold true what is now
And simply remember what was then
So it won't ever happen again
I know it's only been a short while
Since we have begun dateing
And I know that we have both had terrible pasts
Some more then others
But I wanted to say that I care
I will never hurt you like you have been before
Nor how I have been as well
We learn from our past
We live for our present
And wonder over our futures
But all in all
I want you to know
I am here
I don't care if in a year from now
We are not together as we are today
But as friends we shall always stay
Through thick and thin I am here
For you I will always care about
As both a best friend and as my boyfriend
You mean alot to me
I think you know that by now
But just incase your mind or heart ever doubt
Please read this poem I have written
Cause it holds deep and true
I will always care for you
How we both dread this awful day
The day that most celebrate their love
But we celebrate old pain
We sit here in our homes
In reality all alone
But in our hearts we are one
On this day that we are apart for the most part
We sit here and say
I hate this day
But in the end we hold true what is now
And simply remember what was then
So it won't ever happen again
I know it's only been a short while
Since we have begun dateing
And I know that we have both had terrible pasts
Some more then others
But I wanted to say that I care
I will never hurt you like you have been before
Nor how I have been as well
We learn from our past
We live for our present
And wonder over our futures
But all in all
I want you to know
I am here
I don't care if in a year from now
We are not together as we are today
But as friends we shall always stay
Through thick and thin I am here
For you I will always care about
As both a best friend and as my boyfriend
You mean alot to me
I think you know that by now
But just incase your mind or heart ever doubt
Please read this poem I have written
Cause it holds deep and true
I will always care for you
"Happiness"-Me (Jan.31/10)
I can still feel your arms around me
Holding me ever so tightly
Its a feeling I won't forget
It's filled with love and warmth
This feeling is truly amazing
Because it is only a memory of you and me
Together, closely
I loved today ever so much
It was the first day in a long time
Where I needed not to worry
All my fears went away
These feelings between you and me
Mean oh so much to us
When we look at eachother
There is no worry
We know how the other is feeling
We know what the other is thinking
And we just understand eachother
This is by far amazing
I don't mean to sound stupid when I say
That you belong with me
We complete eachother
Better then any other
And that the spaces between my hands
Are right where yours belong
Just because they fit perfectly
Together as a puzzle piece
And just like a puzzle
We go together
Or we don't go
At all
Holding me ever so tightly
Its a feeling I won't forget
It's filled with love and warmth
This feeling is truly amazing
Because it is only a memory of you and me
Together, closely
I loved today ever so much
It was the first day in a long time
Where I needed not to worry
All my fears went away
These feelings between you and me
Mean oh so much to us
When we look at eachother
There is no worry
We know how the other is feeling
We know what the other is thinking
And we just understand eachother
This is by far amazing
I don't mean to sound stupid when I say
That you belong with me
We complete eachother
Better then any other
And that the spaces between my hands
Are right where yours belong
Just because they fit perfectly
Together as a puzzle piece
And just like a puzzle
We go together
Or we don't go
At all
"Winter Break"-Me (Jan.31/10)
It's winter break 2009
And it's just about freakin' time
To have fun once again
Summer was great and all
But it's just not the same anymore
I am a different kid
A different person
I'm better off this way
It saves me from all the pain
I love my friends so dearly
They make my life a lot easier
I apologize for what I've done
But you're so far past done
I'm living my life
The way I'm supposed to
Goodbye <3
And it's just about freakin' time
To have fun once again
Summer was great and all
But it's just not the same anymore
I am a different kid
A different person
I'm better off this way
It saves me from all the pain
I love my friends so dearly
They make my life a lot easier
I apologize for what I've done
But you're so far past done
I'm living my life
The way I'm supposed to
Goodbye <3
"Love"-Me (Jan.31/10)
Love
A four letter word
With oh so much meaning
But why is it that
People constantly over use it
Maybe with good intentions
But wrong idea in mind
Feelings can decieve
The heart can lie
And the mind plays tricks
So our soul is always in a maze
Only times for
Or of peace
Is when we relax and take a break
Life itself can be so confusing
BUt so can love be
Love is only a state of mind
It's when it's a perminante part of you
And your everything to eachother
Sacrifice is willing
When you truly "love" someone
A four letter word
With oh so much meaning
But why is it that
People constantly over use it
Maybe with good intentions
But wrong idea in mind
Feelings can decieve
The heart can lie
And the mind plays tricks
So our soul is always in a maze
Only times for
Or of peace
Is when we relax and take a break
Life itself can be so confusing
BUt so can love be
Love is only a state of mind
It's when it's a perminante part of you
And your everything to eachother
Sacrifice is willing
When you truly "love" someone
"Things Have Changed"-Me (Jan 31/10)
Things today have changed from yesterday
Yesterday is different from last week
Last week is different from last month
Last month is different from last year
Every year things change
And so do people
Much like me.
Look back at me a year ago today
Today I am independant and open-minded
Stubborn and intellegent
Loud and in-your-face
Guiet and invisible
I am who I am
I have amazing family
And outstanding friends
Sure I loose a few here and there
But thats their decision
It can't be forced upon anyone
It just isn't right to do
Sure people make mistakes sometimes
But others cant force upon correction
Not when indivduals aren't willing to
So let me be me
Let me make my mistakes
Let me make my friends
Let me make my own problems
And get myself back out
I will come to you when I need your help
Please
Don't force anything upon me
Not just yet
Let me live my life for now
I like my friends
I like my family
I can survive my drama
I've done it before
I can do it again.
I'm 15 and proud
Let me be me
Let me go back and be happy again.
Yesterday is different from last week
Last week is different from last month
Last month is different from last year
Every year things change
And so do people
Much like me.
Look back at me a year ago today
Today I am independant and open-minded
Stubborn and intellegent
Loud and in-your-face
Guiet and invisible
I am who I am
I have amazing family
And outstanding friends
Sure I loose a few here and there
But thats their decision
It can't be forced upon anyone
It just isn't right to do
Sure people make mistakes sometimes
But others cant force upon correction
Not when indivduals aren't willing to
So let me be me
Let me make my mistakes
Let me make my friends
Let me make my own problems
And get myself back out
I will come to you when I need your help
Please
Don't force anything upon me
Not just yet
Let me live my life for now
I like my friends
I like my family
I can survive my drama
I've done it before
I can do it again.
I'm 15 and proud
Let me be me
Let me go back and be happy again.
"Tomorows Shine"-Me (March 10)
Tomorow brings us good days
As hopes for our future continues
To only grow stronger with our lifes
Much likethe morning sun
It does rise throughout given time
And die in the darkest points
But like the moon
There are times in the darkness
Where theres a brilliant light
That comes from above
Along with the stars that shine
But do fade with the passing of time
And the sun does rise again
As hopes for our future continues
To only grow stronger with our lifes
Much likethe morning sun
It does rise throughout given time
And die in the darkest points
But like the moon
There are times in the darkness
Where theres a brilliant light
That comes from above
Along with the stars that shine
But do fade with the passing of time
And the sun does rise again
"Breaths"-Me (March 10)
Breathe
Breathe
The breath in me
Can not last much longer
It ticks like time
Getting shorter and shorter
With every breath
It won't last much longer
I am only a cluster
That time has made younger
But my breaths have made older
My time could be short
But all I know
Is that my breathing is slower
And shorter then before
I feel as is theres not much left
To me
Or in me
My life won't go on forever
And my breath shall become shallow
So please do me one favor
Let me go
Breathe
The breath in me
Can not last much longer
It ticks like time
Getting shorter and shorter
With every breath
It won't last much longer
I am only a cluster
That time has made younger
But my breaths have made older
My time could be short
But all I know
Is that my breathing is slower
And shorter then before
I feel as is theres not much left
To me
Or in me
My life won't go on forever
And my breath shall become shallow
So please do me one favor
Let me go
"Lost In Memories"-Me (March 13)
I've been lost in memory
That wont ever be true
What once could be
Is what wont ever come true
Yes it's true
I've become mad
Seeing and thinking
Of matters that arent real
I've lost myself
And who I am isn't true
I feel bad
For what has unfolded
None of it was meant to be
All of it was fake
It felt so unreal
It seems to simply only be a
An illusion of the heart
Or a nightmare of the mind
That once I wake up
It'll all dissapear
And everything will be
What it should've been
All too long ago
That wont ever be true
What once could be
Is what wont ever come true
Yes it's true
I've become mad
Seeing and thinking
Of matters that arent real
I've lost myself
And who I am isn't true
I feel bad
For what has unfolded
None of it was meant to be
All of it was fake
It felt so unreal
It seems to simply only be a
An illusion of the heart
Or a nightmare of the mind
That once I wake up
It'll all dissapear
And everything will be
What it should've been
All too long ago
"Myself"-Me (March 4)
I am but myself
In a world that does not know
Or even try to understand
Such complexities in small mysetries
That lie in a gentle grasp
And with a simple blow of the candle
Its all over
In a world that does not know
Or even try to understand
Such complexities in small mysetries
That lie in a gentle grasp
And with a simple blow of the candle
Its all over
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